Conversations with Cats

Is it weird to use a hashtag at the end of a face-to-face conversation? …What about in a conversation with your cat?
 
Lately I’ve become, somewhat disturbingly, aware of the increased conversational frequency I have with my cat. Before moving to Germany (…looks down to count fingers) eight months ago, I spent roughly 9 hours a day, five days a week surrounded by other humans in a florescent-lit place commonly referred to as Work.

Today, however, I spend less than a quarter of that time attending a German language class so that I can eventually learn enough to go back to spending most of my time at Work.

So what am I doing with all this extra time? For starters, my apartment has never been cleaner (except for that mysterious, weird smell dwelling in the refrigerator. But that doesn’t count because its origins are currently, well, mysterious.) And there’s studying German, of course, drinking Weinschorle, scouring Munich for tofu products and getting lost (although the regularity of the latter has declined in recent months).

But my social life?  Is there an international onomatopoeia for cricket sounds?

Okay, so I’ve always considered myself a bit of an ab und zu (roughly now and then) extrovert. But since moving here, I’ve been a lot less ab and a lot more zu. While I have made a few friends here, my circle is considerably smaller than in previous cities.

I, too, will get my social groove back, just like this happy little guy.

My self-induced, quasi-mountain hermit…ness is certainly not for lack of social opportunities. Yet no matter how many people I meet, I haven’t been able to shake this odd, sideline observer feeling. And until recently, I haven’t been able to figure out why. But having lots of extra time gives one the opportunity for deep self-reflection…and to eat a lot of wasabi peanuts.

So what’s holding me back? No, it’s not wasabi peanut breath. It’s my personality in German, or more accurately, lack thereof.

Almost all of my day-to-day conversations with friends and new acquaintances are in German (apart from a few). And while I can chitchat with a sufficient degree of competence, I lack the linguistic dexterity required to make refined, meaningful or witty contributions.

Even in those rare instances where I manage to formulate something untextbooky, by the time my brain transfers it to my lips, the conversational moment has passed. Timing is everything, and unfortunately the translation app running in my brain is slower than a Mississippi drawl. And despite the fact that most of the people I meet are also foreigners, sharing in the struggle to master this language, I’ve refuse (aside from the aforementioned exceptions) to slide comfortable into English.

So where does this leave my social life? In a bit of a rut, until my German improves anyway.

On the upside, at least I’ve started speaking to my cat in monochrome German. Although, between you and me, his conversational skills are worse than mine… 

A German Christmas party: eat, drink and … line dance?

They say the best way to learn a language is by total immersion. While I generally agree, more often than not, Thomas and I stick with English at home. We’ll start off in German, but invariably switch back once my vocabulary begins to stifle the conversation. I guess we just prefer our conversations to go beyond in-detail weather descriptions or me asking for 250 grams of sliced cheese.

But this weekend I got a full immersion experience at Thomas’ company Christmas party. Even though many people there could speak English quite well, I tried as best as I could (after a few glass of wine fortified my courage) to only speak in German. With my vocabulary being limited, I had only a few topics I could speak to comfortably. Fortunately, large parties provide opportunities for dialog repetition. Seven hours later, I could explain my thoughts on the Bavarian accent quite well.

Language barriers aside, the party was quite fun and entertaining. Thomas’s company is more laid-back than most German companies. For example, everyone from intern to CEO addresses one another casually using the informal du-form of “you.” (German, like many languages, has two forms of “you.” The polite and formal “Sie” (always capitalized) and the more familiar, informal “du.”).

So it was no surprise that party felt more like a bunch of good friends celebrating the holidays together rather than a stiff office party where everyone keeps an eye on the clock.  The evening was full of great food, drinks, a band made up entirely of employees, stories of humor and appreciation and even a few cowboy hats and line dancing – something I, coming from the southern half of the U.S., found particularly amusing.

Christmas party in Germany...with line dancing

Why this pinch of country-western culture? One of the employees was moving to work at the company’s U.S. office … in New York. I looked at Thomas, and he grinned. Payback for Americans thinking all Germans wear lederhosen, I guess.

Giving notice

It's hard to leave a company that lets you get creative with fruit.

Up until recently I've been conflicted...and downing antacids like pink-flavored Pez. It all had to do with this thing called "two weeks notice," or TWN for short.

In the U.S. it's common to give just TWN when leaving a company. In part, it gives the employer some time (albeit, not much) to get ready for a personnel change. And it helps protect the soon-to-be former employee should the company decide to say "How about you just leave today." And this does happen, because unlike in some other countries, many companies here can fire an employee without cause. We call that "at-will employment." And in my case, being prematurely "let go" would not only mean financial loss, but also the loss of health care coverage.

But what do you do when you consider your coworkers good friends? Giving TWN not only feels callous, but it also means you can't share a big step in your life with people you care about. Plus, it makes weekend recaps rather dull:

Coworker asks: What'd you do this weekend? 
I think: I woke up early to triple check pet import requirements...hauled my cats to the vet for vaccinations and international micro-chipping...sold my couch, TV and dining table...had a minor nervous breakdown...started itemizing all of my belongs...read and re-read German residence card requirements...[inaudible, even to my own mind]...joined several expat forum websites...added eleven to-dos to my list...and finally fell asleep on the floor while streaming a two-month-old episode of the Daily Show because I've had NO TIME to keep up with it...
I say: Not much. Just ran a few errands. Nothing exciting.

So against the advice of my family and non-work friends, I decided to give five weeks of notice instead of two. I gathered up all of my courage, drank about two liters of coffee and took deep breaths until I nearly passed out. Then I went into my boss' office and said I had an announcement.

It's important to mention that I work for the public relations department of a large company, and several of our people have recently migrated to the marketing department. So my boss' first question probably shouldn't have thrown me off.

Her: You're going to marketing, aren't you?
Me:  What? Wait. What? No. Wow..no no, nothing like that. I'm just moving to Germany.
Her: Wait, What?

The next few minutes were fill with hugs, laughter and a few tears. I felt like a huge moving truck had been lifted from my chest, and upper management said I could stay as long as I wanted. Whew!

Of course, I wouldn't recommend others stray from the TWN rule unless they're sure they'll like the response from management. But for me, giving more notice was definitely the right choice. The antacid market may see a dip though.